How do deal with Passive Aggressive ex father in laws

It’s hard enough blending two families together when everyone gets along. But things can really get complicated when you throw a difficult father-in-law in the mix and divorce. Whether he’s passive aggressive or just straight up rude, a man who’s none-too-pleased by your presence is incredibly difficult to interact with. But always to to engage and be the better person


One way to do this is? Open up conversations with your exfather-in-law about his interests. If he loves airplanes, do a bit of research on different planes and discuss. If he likes to cook, ask him for some recipe ideas or to tell you about his favorite meals.

Keep the conversations light. Avoid anything major. For example, if he’s incredibly political or has an affinity for a specific basketball team, avoid these hot-button topics – it could save you some stress. “Graciously decline to discuss things that you know are going to lead to an argument,” Lanzisera says.

Also, it’s not always what you say but how you say it. Tone of voice can trigger a negative reaction, he says, so you must be in charge of keeping your emotions in check at all times — no matter how hurt or frustrated you are. Try to understand your father-in-law’s motives in all of this, Family Education suggests. Remember, “these folks are not necessarily nasty or evil,” Lanzisera adds. Dad may believe he’s being helpful, but you can also address areas where he is being a little too helpful and over stepping roles and boundaries. Sometimes your ex spouse can run interference, depending on your relationship and many times they don't. Just be sure to pick your battles with your ex wisely when dealing with you ex inlays, it can be a slippery slope.


Be patient during this process

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